


Imperfect Life

by Sukunami



Series: Life Series [9]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Implied Mpreg, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-06-01
Updated: 2003-07-15
Packaged: 2019-10-01 12:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17244302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sukunami/pseuds/Sukunami
Summary: From a time of war comes LifePREQUEL to the Life Series: Before war strikes, Squall and Seifer were punished with cooking classes.





	1. Chapter 1

_The small brunet was huffing slightly by the time he reached a large ledge of the cliff, the relatively narrow ridge far below where a white lighthouse stood tall. Straightening from the hard climb down, he brushed aside annoyingly long bangs as he stared ahead at a huddled form of another young boy. Blue-gray eyes narrowed in a vaguely threatening manner and pale lips frowned in a small pout as he placed a fisted hand against his hip._

_"What're you doing here?"_

_The boy at the far corner of the ledge flinched, and then looked up from behind folded arms that rested on his bent knees. Normally bright green eyes were blurred behind tears as the blond stared bewildered at the younger boy._

_Dark eyebrows scrunched at the unusual sight of the larger child crying. "This is my spot."_

_Due to his face being partly hidden behind folded arms, his muffled "sorry" barely reached the other youth._

_Blue-gray eyes glared for a moment longer before the brunet shrugged. "Whatever."_

_With the blond taking up that part of the ledge against the cliff face, the smaller boy moved to sit at the edge with his legs hanging off the side. They sat like that for a long time without speaking, only the sounds of the ocean and an occasional sniffle kept pure silence away. For that time, blue eyes focused on the expanse of salty water and hazy sky while green eyes never moved from watching the back of the dark-haired boy._

_"Say, Squall..." the blond started in an uncertain tone._

_There was a long pause until an annoyed sigh sounded. "Yeah?"_

_"Do ya miss yer parents?"_

_"No. Why should I?"_

_The older youth sniffed and rubbed an arm under his nose. "'Cause they're gone."_

_"So?"_

_Green eyes glared at him. "They're our parents, stoopid. If they didn't want us, who will?"_

_"I've got Sis. 'n' Matron's okay."_

_"... You goin' tell everyone I'm a crybaby?"_

_There was only a scoff in reply._

_After another long period of nothing but the sound of waves and the cries of birds, the blond stretched out his legs as he leaned back fully against the cliff side. Eyes dried of tears, he watched as the smaller youth shivered from a strong ocean breeze._

_"You cold?"_

_"... ..."_

_Rolling his eyes, he then asked, "So why're you here anyways?"_

_"... Everyone's too noisy."_

_For the first time that afternoon, the blond smiled with a vague curl of lips. "That's just Chickenwuss 'n' Selphie. Matron let's 'em have too much candy." When there was no comment, he continued. "Y'know, I am sorry 'bout taking yer spot. I didn't know."_

_"... S'okay."_

_"Cool. Um, I'm kinda cold, too, so if you wanna sit back here, that'd be fine."_

_The dark-haired boy looked back at the other youth, blue-gray eyes wary at the offer. But after a strong gust of salt-hinted wind, he nodded once before crawling the short distance to sit next to the larger boy. The few inches he had placed between them were closed when the blond scooted over such that their sides were pressed against each other, warmth intermingling. Frowning, the brunet looked up into green eyes that were once again bright with a challenging gleam that the aggressive boy more typically displayed._

_"Isn't that better?"_

_Looking away from the smiling face, the dark-haired youth mumbled, "You're weird, Seifer."_

* * *

 

[Squall]

I'm going to kill Seifer. There's simply no other way around it.

"Alright class, settle down. As you can see, we have two new additions with us today - cadets Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonhart. As they are starting rather late in the course, please help them if they have any questions."

I clench my teeth at the sound of the highly amused "Yes, Instructor Avol" that comes from the numerous female students of the class, all of them standing beside their cooking stations. Hyne, what the hell was Seifer thinking to provoke Cid, asking the Headmaster to get creative with his punishments for once. While I'll admit that cleaning the training center for a week is certainly not one of my favorite tasks, at least I know how to do that. And rather efficiently, too, given the number of times Seifer and I have done the chore.

"Why don't you two boys take the empty stations right here so that I can keep a better eye over what you're doing." The small, redheaded woman directs us to the two islands in the front left of the classroom. Seifer moves quick enough to get the second row position, leaving me in front and fuming. The instructor smiles sweetly at us, clearly amused at the whole situation. "Now, for today's recipe..."

I guess I can understand the relative importance of this course within Garden. Along with the basic cooking technique are tips about how the flavor and color of the dish could properly cover certain poisons for assassination attempts. And there's always the issue of how to keep yourself well fed while traveling half the world on a mission. But everyone knows the main purpose of this course is to keep some of the female population within Garden happy, those girls still having dreams of a normal family life beyond the mercenary experience. Whatever.

"... And that's all there is to it. If you have any questions, just call me over. Otherwise, I'll leave you to it."

I glare at the assortment of ingredients (entirely too many of them looking like the same dark green herb), and an odd sense of impending doom overwhelms me.

~ > < ~

"It's alright, cadet. This was a little much for a beginner. Just try to remember a little less heat for next time."

"... ..." I swear, if she continues to pat my back, I may have to hurt her, instructor or not.

Misunderstanding my scowl, she says, "Oh, chin up. I grade on attempts, not outcomes, so no worries there. I'll make a cook out of you yet."

Resisting the desire to glare at the instructor, I instead look at the sickly colored sauce within the pan. I really haven't a clue what happened, though at least I can blame the burnt chicken breasts on not understanding the stove dial.

"Go ahead and clean up," the smiling woman says while moving back to Seifer's position.

I don't bother looking back at the blond, knowing that he must be flashing his most irritating smirk at me. I haven't heard him curse once all class period, which means that he had little or no problems with the assignment. I'm rather surprised that he bothered cooking in the first place, Seifer seeming the type to blow this kind of thing off without a care. And here I was hoping he'd somehow get us kicked out of this class. With a deep sigh, I dump charcoaled meat into the trash.

"My, my," the instructor's voice coos with amazement from behind me. "This is very well made for a beginner." There's a brief pause before she speaks again, "Mmm, and you didn't follow the recipe exactly. I like what you've done. Mind if I steal some to show a few of the girls what I meant by moving beyond the simple recipe?"

"Help yourself," he replies, a smug smile clear in his voice.

While I busy myself with cleaning the mess I've made of the cooking station, Seifer is soon surrounded by several girls asking about his technique. It's at that moment when I realize what the bastard is up to: we're in a primarily female class where he can easily round up more conquests for his bed. This is so fucking unfair. He was the one to ask for this 'creative punishment'. Why do I have to suffer from this torment while he gets a free period to flirt?

I clean as fast as I can, hoping to escape Seifer's gloating, but obviously luck isn't on my side today. Turning around to leave, I find Seifer alone and looking directly at me, victory clear in his smirk.

"A-aw, did the little ice princess have problems with such a simple assignment?"

"... ..."

"Don't get your panties into a bunch, Leonhart. You can't be fucking perfect at everything."

"Whatever."

He chuckles at my unhidden annoyance. "Come on, wanna try something edible?"

I almost refuse the offered spoon of cream sauce, but my curiosity about the fuss over his cooking undoes me. Ignoring his wide smirk, I take the wooden spoon and hesitate before sampling. Instantly I'm overpowered by the flavor, my poor taste buds being too used to cafeteria food after all of these years. Hotdogs simply can't compare to something like this. Opening eyes that I didn't realize I had closed, I hand back the spoon.

"It's good," I mumble before meeting his gaze.

Looking at me with the most unusual expression, he mutters a "thanks" in return.

When he doesn't say anything more, I decide to make my escape while I can. I really don't feel like hearing more insults about my ineptitude, and now knowing that Instructor Avol wasn't just being overly kind to the blond about his skill, I can't bear to stand around here watching Seifer have his dinner while I'm stuck with the weekly special in the caf. Though I should probably hit a restroom first: there must be something on my face for Seifer to stare at me like he did.

* * *

 

[Seifer]

This simply isn't working. Here I am looking up at a darkened ceiling with my head resting on a pillow that still smells faintly of that lovely SeeD I had last night, and yet all I can think of is a certain brunet that I shouldn't be imagining in such shameless positions. Why in the world did I have to offer Squall a taste of that sauce? I wouldn't be in such a pathetic state of mind if I had never seen him sucking on that damn wooden spoon. Who knew that the heartless bastard could make such a sultry image. Hyne, I was half expecting an orgasmic moan with the way he had his eyes closed and his hips pushed forward in a suggestive manner.

I don't think I've ever made the trip to the main dance club in Balamb so fast as I did that day, needing to prove to myself that only women do it for me and that I certainly wasn't wondering if Squall could suck dick as nicely as he cleaned off that spoon. Six nights and three women later, I was confident that I had crushed the meaningless fixation. It was a chance moment in an odd setting and never to be repeated, or so I wanted to believe.

Then I had to see Squall after an intense workout in the training center. It wasn't the first time I've seen him drenched in hard earned sweat or heard him take quick ragged breaths, but suddenly they had completely new meanings and, sadly, I enjoyed the direction of my thoughts. Rather, I enjoyed them too much as I had to bolt out of the center and head straight to a cold shower. That was the moment I knew I was fucked.

With one last attempt, I had an exhausting night with a dark-skinned SeeD who knows the most amazing little tricks. But even with Anca, I couldn't stop my thoughts from wondering how much different it would be if her body was more muscular, if her voice were deeper and softer, and if her hair would fall annoyingly over her eyes.

So here I am one night later and no closer to ridding myself of this random obsession. I should just face it and realize that there is only one way to destroy this fantasy - have a night of fucking Squall, discover the horrors of being with a man, and then I can happily return to life as normal. It's insane to even consider that option, but now that I am thinking about it, it actually sounds like a worthy challenge to land that lion in bed. And hell, I have been curious about anal sex, which most women cringe away from before I can even finish the request.

Alright...

So I'm going to do this...

Fuck, how in the world am I suppose to trick Squall into my bed?

~ > < ~

Fate is such a teasing bitch. After coming to the painful decision to have my way with the lion, I had spent nearly a week trying to figure out the best method to get close to Squall that wouldn't involve maiming each other in a sparring match. Then came the next cooking period in which pretty boy was practically placed right into my lap. Neither the redheaded instructor nor I could figure out exactly how it happened, but Squall managed to melt his grill. I would have never imagined it possible, but he did something such that after a single hour, the grill was suddenly drooping downward into a bowl-like shape. I am now a firm believer in the cooking gods, and damn, they hate Squall.

Because of that event, Instructor Avol finally took pity on the guy and handed him over to me with the implied message that he shouldn't be allowed to touch anything more complex than a spoon. While perfect student Squall was obviously embarrassed by the whole situation, I suddenly had my chance at having his captive attention. Instantly, I turned on my charms in the attempt to get some kind of reaction out of the brunet. Typically it doesn't take that much effort, but this is Shiva's Lover I'm after who is apparently beyond clueless about flirting. And so here I am, over a month wasted on such efforts, and I'm no closer to landing that lion.

"If I didn't know better, I'd swear that he was being difficult on purpose," I grumble while lying back on my bed.

Fujin snickers while Raijin stares at me blankly. "Ya know, I still don't get why yer bothering with Leonhart. I thought guys weren't yer game, let alone that guy. He don't seem to like you much, ya know."

"Let's just call it a bit of temporary insanity wrapped up in some morbid curiosity. Anyhow, it looks like it ain't going to happen. He's denser than shit."

"MOVE ON."

I growl out a sigh, understanding the logic of letting this obsession die, but I just don't think that's an option anymore. Not after a month of sincerely watching Squall. He's never been one for many words, so I've learned several of his signals over the years to determine if he'd be agreeable to a decent sparring match. But only lately have I noticed the numerous layers to every base expression I've learned. Aside from that, I can't make myself stop seeing this other side of Squall that makes me desire him. My favorite imagery is when he somehow got a dollop of chocolate frosting on his nose. After I had pointed it out to him, his stormy eyes crossed in an oddly adorable fashion just before he wiped the icing from his nose and promptly licked it from his hand like a preening cat would. That damn tongue of his...

"Geez, Seifer, stop grinnin' like that. It's disturbin', ya know."

"Then stop looking at me, idiot."

Raijin shifts uncomfortably in his sitting position on the floor. "Ya know, you don't usually get this funny over a girl. If yer gonna do it, why haven't ya done it yet?"

"CHICKEN."

I glare at the one-eyed girl, annoyed that she has the guts to say that to my face. "This is Leonhart we're talking about, Fu. He'd happily cut off my dick if I make the wrong move. I can't even tell where the guy stands on the scale between gay and homophobic, let alone if he'd give me a chance."

Fujin smirks. "CHICKEN."

"Fuck you, Fu. Fine, you want me to do something? Then I'll do something. But if I'm dead by tomorrow night, it's your damn fault."

The girl continues to smile, her conscience obviously untouched by guilt.

"So, um, if that's settled, ya know, can't we talk 'bout something else?"

~ > < ~

For the first time ever, I'm flat on my ass with a practice blade pressed against my throat. In a weird way, it actually excites me to look up at Squall from this position, his ice hardened eyes glaring at me from behind dark hair. That's one thing I have to love about this boy - he never spars with anything less than full force.

"What's wrong with you?"

I blink, momentarily surprised at Squall's first words of the entire morning. "Nothing for you to worry about, Squally-boy. Just distracted."

He doesn't lower the sword. "You've been weird lately."

Shocks of shocks, he actually noticed my attempts at flirting. "Oh? And how have I been weird?"

Biting his lower lip, he finally removes the blade from my neck while stepping back with a shrug. "I don't know. Just... weird."

Shit, never mind. He is beyond obtuse. Considering I've made it my goal to touch him as much as possible over the last month, one would think that he'd notice my invasion of his precious personal space. Really, how many times can a person 'accidentally' brush fingers while taking items from someone? Hell, I've even handfed the guy in the name of 'taste testing'.

With an exaggerated groan, I stand up from the ground and look down at Squall, the younger teen never one to be intimidated by my height over him. I briefly consider asking him if he really wants to know what has been bothering me lately, but I don't want to chance him saying 'no' and walking off without another word about this matter. Smirking softly, I decide to be a man of action and stop my ridiculous attempt at subtlety.

Gently taking his chin in my hand, I pause a moment to let Squall escape the contact. His blue-gray eyes narrow in confusion, but he doesn't move away from my hold. Amazing. He trusts me this much. That thought firm in mind, I lean down to brush my lips lightly against his. He stiffens slightly at the move, but again refuses to retreat from me. Already this far into the lion's den, I lick the dry flesh before slipping my tongue a bare distance into his mouth to run the tip of my tongue along the underside of his upper lip.

Pulling away slowly from the brief kiss, my eyes lock with his, the blue-gray orbs vaguely wider than usual for the pretty boy. I take a large step back, dangerously allowing Squall the room he'd need to punch me if he wants to. With any luck, it'd knock some sense into me. Then there is the unlikely chance of him closing this distance between us and demanding for more than that somewhat teasing kiss. Right, and Ifrit wears flannel pajamas at night.

Several loud heartbeats later, Squall is the first to break the staring contest as stormy eyes glance to the side and dark eyebrows scrunch in a confused expression that reminds me too much of a bewildered child. Then without a spoken word, he abruptly turns his back to me and walks away with his typical stride. For a long moment I simply stand in place and look at the exit he used out of here.

Well, then. That was just a little anticlimactic.

... Shit, what the hell am I supposed to do about this now?

* * *

 

[Squall]

Finished with sweeping my section of the room, I lean against the side wall while watching Seifer clean his area. I don't bother being subtle about observing him since the blond has been worse than distracted in this last week, thus he'd never notice me staring at him. It's a bit strange with only the two of us in this large room, it being too quiet without the clanging of pans and chatter of girls. Even Instructor Avol had to run off to some faculty meeting, her trusting us to clean the room properly without supervision. A rather foolish placement of trust, but Seifer and I are used to cleaning messes with each other, thus it was a simple matter to divide up the room for our week to clean the classroom.

It's odd to me how much I feel comfortable around Seifer in moments like this, able to let down my guard when we aren't fighting each other. I'd be tempted to call him a friend, but I don't really know anything about him. I know his strongest fighting stance, his favorite gunblade models, and his love of women... Given that last bit, I haven't been able to figure out what made him kiss me, but because of that event and his attitude since, I know that it implies two things. First, he's gotten it into his damn head that he wants to fuck me. If there's one thing I know, it's that Seifer Almasy doesn't do dates or relationships. It's all about the fuck. Second, he's obsessed about the matter. Whenever something he truly wants doesn't go his way, he gets distracted like this until he figures out how to make things work for him. Whether figuring out a complex maneuver, earning some rank, or getting out of trouble, it's all the same. He's not going to give up easily.

With those facts in mind, I have few options. I could just ignore all of this, let Seifer deal with his own stupidity, but in the end, I could lose the one person with whom I can simply be myself. While everyone else badgers me into saying things that don't need to be said, Seifer is happy enough assuming the unspoken. It doesn't mean he is right all the time, but it's better than being nagged to death.

I guess it should bother me that I'm sincerely considering to let Seifer do whatever he wants with me, but in truth, I simply don't give a shit. Unlike my teenage counterparts, I'm just not interested in sex with anyone, female or male. I suppose I should do it just to see what the fuss is about. And at least doing it with Seifer, I know that it would most likely be a one night thing where he could never tell anyone about the event without also revealing his role in it to all of Garden.

Well, if my mind has been made up, I should just get this over with and hope that Seifer will go back to his normal self afterwards. This sulking side of him annoys the hell out of me. But of course, I should be allowed my fun first.

Seeing that Seifer is nearly done with wiping down the back counter, I push up from the wall and walk over to the large blond. He doesn't notice my approach until I'm only a couple steps away, which serves to my benefit. When he turns to face me, I set my eyes on the smudge of powdered sugar that has been at the corner of his mouth since the end of the class period. Not letting myself think too hard about it, I move in close to Seifer and raise up onto the balls of my feet in order to reach the spot of sweetness with my tongue. The ending effect is better than I could have hoped for - the blond jerks backward and smacks his legs into the counter, that causing him to lose his balance such that he lands hard on his ass and hits the back of his head against the cabinet doors. Yes, payback is a beautiful thing.

I wait silently while he bites out a string of curses, and then abruptly quiets to stare at me with wide eyes. It takes several more moments before he finds his voice. "Leonhart... You...?"

"You started this, Almasy. Where do you want it to go?"

As he looks up at me, his lips slowly form a broad smirk. "Well, well. I didn't know you swung that way."

"I could say the same of you."

With a quiet 'hmph', he stands up to use his height against me. "So, how far are we taking this?"

"As far as you want."

Bright green eyes widen at the offer, Seifer looking momentarily at a loss for words. "And the conditions?"

I shrug. "You'll owe me one."

He barks out a laugh. "Shit, if I knew it was going to be this simple, I would've kissed you over a month ago."

An eyebrow raised, I stare at him. A month? I've only noticed him acting strange in the past few weeks, mostly because of the increasing hits I've been able to score on him. When I actually won that spar last week, I knew for a fact that something was off about Seifer. But, for over a month?

An assured grin on his face, he leans down to press his lips against mine, thankfully keeping his tongue in its rightful place this time. "My room. Eleven. Knock once," he speaks softly against my lips. Straightening, he brushes the back of his fingers against my cheek. "See you later, Leonhart."

~ > < ~

It takes some time before the door opens to my single knock, Seifer grinning far too broadly for my likes. He motions quickly for silence, and then leads me into the dorm room. Walking through the common area first, I look curiously at the two cadets sleeping on the couch and floor, but continue to follow Seifer without a word. This is the first time I've been to his room in all these years, and the cleanliness of it surprises me for some reason. Though I should assume he cleaned it recently for either tonight or a previous rendezvous.

When the door slides shut, Seifer codes in his lock before laughing lightly. "I never would've believed it, but it looks like sleeping potions do retain their potency when baked within cookies."

I resist an amused smile. Poor Cid, his attempt at punishment has merely handed Seifer new ways of tormenting the residents of Balamb Garden.

Suddenly green eyes are focused intently on me, the blond smirking softly. "Wasn't certain that you'd come."

"... ..."

"I know, I should've known better." He steps up close and draws me into a testing kiss, his hands moving to my waist where they stroke downward to my ass. "No belts? Wow, Leonhart, I'm touched."

I try to lean back to glare at him, but he stops the move, twisting us such that I lose my balance and end up on the bed with Seifer looming over me. Doesn't matter. I can still glare at him from this position.

He laughs. "Why do you wear more than one belt anyway? It's like you're trying to protect your virginity or something."

When I don't answer, he decides to take it as a sign to move on with the main purpose of this meeting. All I can think of as he rids me of clothing is how I never realized how warm his hands are. It adds a sense of surrealism to this, making me remember that Seifer and I exchange more punches than friendly pats when we're in the same room.

An overly gentle touch at my cheek makes me open closed eyes and I look up at the blond, Seifer bearing an odd expression that I don't recognize. He had lost his vest at some point and I easily identify the scars on his body that belong to me. Sixteen years old and yet he bears more scars than most people would receive in their lifetime.

"You're beautiful like this."

That instantly clears the growing haziness of my mind as I glare at him. "I'm not a girl."

Looking surprised, Seifer blinks and then smiles vaguely before bending down to kiss my neck just below my ear. Speaking between light kisses and licks, he says in a deeply toned voice, "Leonhart, girls are pretty or cute. You are beautiful like a piece of artwork set out on display just for my pleasure."

Before I have the chance at a growled reply, he bites gently at a point just behind my ear, the action causing a shiver of pleasure to course down my spine. By Seifer's chuckle, I know that he felt my involuntary response to his action, and that seems to give him more confidence about this matter since his kisses and the massaging of his hands grow firmer as he travels lower along my body. I hate the quiet hisses and moans he draws out from me, every noise of mine pointing out weak points on my body that he doesn't fail to take advantage of. Despite the fogginess of mind, I can tell he has set a boundary for himself, that he isn't truly ready to be fucking a man since he completely avoids that area of my body which clearly wants his attention. But then, it's not like I'm taking an active role in this, so I shouldn't complain.

Suddenly the heat of his body is gone, making me move my gaze from the ceiling above to Seifer, the blond quickly ridding himself of dark pants. Then moving to a kneeling position, he places a hand at my hip.

"Roll over for me, baby."

Instantly I'm sitting up, a hand at his throat in a hold that Seifer should recognize as potentially deadly. "None of that shit. My name or nothing."

Though at first surprised and wary, he gradually smiles in a disarming way. "As you wish, Squall."

I glare at him a moment longer, trying to determine if he is mocking me, but I finally release my hold and move onto my stomach as he wanted. Instantly he is on me again with hard kisses and bites, but that isn't what steals my attention. In this position, hardness presses at my ass, Seifer grinding his erection against me in tiny circles. I almost laugh at myself then, for the first time realizing what exactly it'd mean to be fucked by a man. By a large man, at that. This isn't good.

Even so, it's hard to hold onto my worried state of mind as Seifer does the most interesting massage to my neck and back. In time he encircles an arm around my midsection, pulling upward in the signal to move back on my knees. From that, however, he brushes a hand against my erection, driving an odd whimper from my lips as I wildly think that I need more of that touch. I'm vaguely aware of Seifer freezing behind me, but it doesn't matter because his hand slowly moves downward to gently stroke my arousal with a cautious touch. Though better prepared for such a sensation, I still can't hold in a gasp at the strange feel of someone else handling my penis. My body moves against me as I slightly thrust into his loose hold in a silent beg for more. Laughing breathily, he doesn't disappoint me.

Lost in that unexpected pleasure, I almost don't notice Seifer moving behind me, but the press of thick hardness is difficult to miss. With a quick thrust, he's suddenly within me. We both inhale sharply at the entrance, Seifer from apparent pleasure, myself from extreme discomfort though only a fraction of him could be possibly within me. Clutching the dark blue sheets, I press my forehead against the mattress and try to breathe through the pain. Seifer whispers some nonsense to me, but I can't focus on the words, only hoping for this to end quickly. He starts to pull out of me, my body relaxing at the thought of relief, but too soon he thrusts back in even deeper than before. And so it continues like that, myself too focused on the silent mantra of wishing this were over with to bother wondering if Seifer was getting what he wanted. Thank Hyne it's only this one time.

* * *

 

[Seifer]

I pound for the third time against the locked door, more out of frustration than with hope to get a response this time around. Given Squall wasn't in his class this morning, I'm fairly positive that he is hiding inside his room and currently ignoring me. Fuck, I don't need this, not when I woke up in such a good mood. Don't know whether to be upset with myself or not, but having sex with a man wasn't bad in the least. Or rather, that should be sex with Squall. While he seemed determined to play the passive role, something about those quiet moans of his really turned me on. Maybe because such sounds went against his typically silent nature and stone-faced attitude, or maybe because of their innocently seductive tones, but either way, I didn't have any problems taking the gorgeous figure. Hyne, and that pleading whimper of his...

But then he had to leave in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Granted, I typically wouldn't mind such a move, especially since I do it enough times that it's practically a habit, but waking up to find spots of blood on my sheets bothered me greatly. I had hurt him and the idiot didn't say a Hyne-damned word about it. Talk about a blow to my ego that I was acting like a virgin, so lost in the pleasure of my cock in tight heat that I didn't notice him in pain. What a way to ruin my morning-after buzz.

After a final glare at the unopened doorway, I turn my attention to the keypad lock. A SeeD friend of mine has been giving me lessons about breaking into various locks, but I have yet to actually use those skills. Well, what better time to get some practice in?

It takes nearly ten minutes to figure out the lock, and only due to it being around lunchtime do I avoid being caught by anyone in the hallways. Thus I manage to get within the common room of this suite, but I'm left with figuring out which of the three rooms belongs to Squall. Fuck, no reason to get creative about all of this.

" _Leonhart!_ Get your ass out here!" When there's no response, I say loudly, "I got into this room and I'll manage to get my way into your room, so cut this short and come out already."

It takes a moment, but then I hear the creak of mattress springs from the room to the far right. Focusing on that doorway, I'm soon greeted with the sight of a highly annoyed Squall, the messed hair teen leaning heavily against the doorframe.

"Well, you look like shit."

Stormy eyes narrow dangerously.

"So, did you bother healing yourself once you crawled back here?"

He straightens at that, his wince almost unseen. "None of your business."

"Stupid ass," I mutter while striding up to him.

Not giving him the chance to react, I grab his upper arm and pull him towards the bathroom, the brunet hissing in pain when moved away from the support of the doorway. Knowing that he'd kill me before letting me carry him, I ignore the sound and continue to drag him forward. Pushing him ahead of me in the small room, I then lock the door before meeting Squall's gaze. His hands propped back on the counter in support, he glares at me with ice hardened eyes.

"Take off your pants."

That makes his eyes narrow further.

I smirk back. "I promise not going to fuck you, Leonheart, so take off the damn pants and show me your ass."

He hesitates before his expression softens some. Pushing up from the counter, he then removes what seem to be the same pair of pants from last night. Of course he should have showered directly after returning to his dorm room, but the pants look too wrinkled to be fresh. When the dark material falls and he turns to lean on the countertop, I sigh in annoyance that he didn't clean himself up in the least.

I step up closer behind him, pausing when Squall flinches at my approach. Shit, I can't remember the last time he flinched from my presence. Waiting for him to relax some, I reach over his shoulder to pull out the hand towel from its holder. After wetting it, I kneel down behind Squall and quickly wipe away the dried blood smeared on his thighs and ass cheeks. That area cleaned off, I then frown at the sight of his reddened anus. Dropping the towel to the floor, I pull a potion from an inner pocket of my trench coat while standing up.

"Bend forward more and spread your legs a bit wider."

He glances back cautiously, but then follows the quietly spoken order. Leaning over the counter top further, he turns his attention to the mirror in front of him and stares directly at my reflection. Smirking at his look of uncertainty, I wink at him and then return my focus to that lovely part of this man's body.

Placing a couple of fingers against the inflamed skin, I carefully pour the potion down the slope of my fingers while gently massaging such that the liquid seeps inward. Slowly I press my potion soaked fingers inside of Squall, him inhaling sharply at the move, but then gradually relaxing as the potion does its healing work. After a time when the redness begins to fades, I chance a look at Squall's face in the mirror, witnessing a rare faint blush on his cheeks as he pants slightly with his eyes tightly shut. Curious, I withdrawal my fingers enough to recoat the fingers with cool potion, and then push them in deeper than before. He shudders at the action, the frequency of his breaths increasing as I stroke the walls of his anus. Intent on his reflection, I'm soon gifted with the sight of slowly opening eyes, the stormy orbs hazed with pleasure.

"Seifer...?"

Moving our bodies closer together, I ask quietly, "Should I continue or is this enough?"

His eyes quickly shift away from my gaze in the mirror as he mutters, "It's fine now."

Somewhat disappointed, I remove my fingers, but I don't move back from our close contact. Seeing him in momentary bliss like that, I realize that I have handled the entire night wrong. I had spent too much time focusing on how to get the brunet into my bed without ever thinking that there should be different techniques between anal sex with a virgin man and what I'm used to. In short, he shouldn't have been hurt at my pleasure.

"I want another night."

His eyes snap open wide as he turns clumsily to face me directly. "You don't do more than one night."

I grin widely. "And I don't do men. What's your point?"

He glares at me, obviously not amused.

"I'll have you know that I have had plenty of second nights, especially when the person interests me enough."

"You don't--"

I press fingers against his lips to interrupt him. "You should have enjoyed last night as much as I did. Let me make up for that."

"It doesn't matter," he mutters against my fingers.

"Like hell it doesn't." Frowning, I move my hand. "Why did you agree to do this anyway?"

"... ..."

"I'll warn you now, I won't let you escape this question, so let's try this again - why did you let me fuck you? Shit, better yet, why did you let me hurt you like that? I would've stopped, y'know."

He hesitates before a shrug. "You wanted it and I wanted my sparring partner back."

"That's it?"

"... ..."

Sighing, I press a hand over my eyes. "In other words, you pimped yourself to me so that I could go back to properly kicking your ass?"

"... ..."

Removing my hand, I look down at the lovely image before me, Squall's hair messier than usual as if we had just finished our romp in bed. Placing a hand at his cheek, I brush fingers back through the thick locks and tuck some of the rebellious strands behind his ear. Looking directly into his eyes, I momentarily lose myself in that perfect mix of blue and gray. Too bad he'd probably punch me if I dared to mention that he has beautiful eyes. Instead, I move in closer to him such that our bodies press together.

"Squall, I want to show you ecstasy," I say in a rough voice while I let my hand drop to lightly finger his penis.

"I... I don't..."

His hesitation makes me smile, but I don't stop the careful touch that he could easily knock aside. "What are you doing during that break in a couple weeks?"

"... Nothing."

"Then you're coming with me. Four days, three nights. Just the two of us."

"... Where?"

Straightening with a step back, I smirk at the vague sign that he'll consider it. "A surprise. And we don't have to do anything you don't want to. Though I think it's about time we bought you a proper gunblade. I'm sick of using those pieces of crap practice swords, and if you have your own blade, we can spar all we want outside of Garden."

Tenseness I didn't recognize in the lithe body suddenly eases away. "Sparring outside of Garden... sounds nice."

I can't help a laugh. "You're such the masochist, Leonhart, already excited to have a real gunblade digging into your side."

He studies me for a moment before saying, "I haven't said 'yes'."

"And you haven't said 'no'."

"... ..."

"Think about it for the next time I ask."

I turn to leave the small bathroom, not too surprised when Squall doesn't stop me for a 'goodbye' or even a word of thanks. Well, it was my fault anyway, so I shouldn't expect that from the brunet. Thus I leave his dorm room without a second look back, and it's not until I step into the elevator that reality hits me. I had invited Squall to a weekend in complete isolation, to a place where I haven't even taken Fujin and Raijin despite them being good friends. Running a hand through my hair, I try to figure out what the hell I was thinking to make such an offer to my rival turned lover. But at the sudden memory of Squall whimpering in pleasure under my hand, I grin stupidly in the empty elevator and begin vague plans to make certain the pretty boy will agree to come.

 


	2. Chapter 2

_With a crunch of gravel and dirt, the green-eyed boy dropped ungracefully from some height to the stone ledge that stuck out from the seaside cliff. Wiping a few rebellious strands of blond from his forehead and eyes, the pleased smirk on his face quickly disappeared once he noticed the other boy not looking in his direction. Sighing, he moved to stand behind the dark-haired boy smaller than himself. The boy's longish strands of brown swayed in the ocean breeze, but apparently used to those bangs in his eyes, no hand bothered to brush them aside._

_"Ya didn't haveta leave."_

_The brunet shrugged, acknowledging the other boy though his blue-gray eyes never left the sight of the sea spread out before him._

_"Hn, it was a stupid game anyways. Girls don't know what fun is."_

_Not offering a comment of his own, the smaller boy simply wrapped arms around his midsection and leaned forward slightly despite his rather precarious position on the edge, his legs swinging high above the surf._

_"Are you cold again, stupid?" Taking a seat behind the boy, the blond straddled his legs around the other and encircled the vaguely shivering shoulders with his arms. "That better?"_

_The brunet leaning back into the warmer body was the only reply._

_"Why don't you wear a jacket or somethin'?"_

_After a shrug, a quiet voice finally sounded. "You're here."_

_The blond snorted, though he smiled widely. "You're so stoopid."_

_Easy silence fell between the two boys, both seemingly happy enough with each other's company as they watched over the always moving waters of the ocean. Occasionally a strong breeze would blow, forcing the two to huddle tighter. After some time of watching the waves and birds, the blond boy was the first to break the silence._

_"Y'know, Matron wasn't happy that you didn't show for lunch. Why didn't ya come back?"_

_"Selphie was annoying."_

_The blond snickered at the comment. "And the sky's blue. So?"_

_"... ..."_

_"Well, like I said, the game was stupid. Don't see why we couldn't be husband and wife, too, like Selph and Irvine, and Quisty and Chicken._

_"'Cause boys can't be together like that."_

_"Says Quisty, and I don't believe her."_

_"Whatever."_

_Frowning, the blond rested his chin on the small shoulder. "Say, Squall, you'd be my wife in the future, right? And we'd have kids 'n' stuff."_

_Dark eyebrows scrunched in thought. "I don't think it works like that. Matron said a boy and girl in love can make a baby, not just any two people."_

_"Nh... Maybe that's true, but only 'cause Matron knows a bunch." After a time of silence, the larger boy asked in a quiet voice, "But if we could, you'd do that with me, right?"_

_"... I guess."_

_Hugging the smaller boy tightly, the blond grinned. "You're so great, Squall."_

_A faint redness appearing on fair skin, the brunet mumbled such that his words were covered by the sounds of the sea. "Only you think so."_

* * *

 

[Squall]

With my no longer quite so new gunblade heavy in my hand, I follow Seifer to the cabin he has claimed as his over the years. The location had surprised me somewhat when we had first arrived yesterday, since what SeeD cadet could own his own cabin far into the woods? Of course, that would be discounting Seifer's odd strikes of amazing luck. According to him, he found the cabin abandoned during a backpacking trip a couple years back. Perhaps a sudden increase in monsters drove the previous owners off or there was some other reason, but since that time, no one else has made a claim on the decently sized cabin. Of course it's nothing extravagant, but it holds within the simple luxuries of a worn bed and a ratty couch, as well as a fireplace, a wood stove, and a sturdy roof, which all serve to make the woods several times more livable compared to camping outside like we had to yesterday.

Most of the first day of the trip had been spent on an early train to Timber, where I had purchased my gunblade, and then we began our hike deep into the forest northwest of the city. Last night we had to sleep outside, the dark of night and the relatively large amount of stronger monsters forcing us to use a tent. Both of us tired from a hard hike and numerous fights, we had fallen directly to sleep. We didn't reach the cabin until earlier this afternoon. After dumping our bags into the only bedroom area, Seifer had suggested a spar to loosen up our muscles and to officially test out my new blade.

Thinking of the blade, I place my free hand on the Griever pendant of my necklace, the matching ring on my finger clinging quietly against the metal. I didn't really want them, but Seifer was rather insistent that I should have something that represented my apparent lion image. Given that we did have excess metal and the weapons maker happened to have a discount to do jewelry with a weapons purchase, I gave into Seifer's pleading. Though I also made him get some kind of necklace as well. Like hell I wanted to be the only one returning to Garden with new jewelry. So he chose a choker that had used up the rest of the metal, his odd grin telling me that he wasn't bothered in the least having something flashy around his neck.

"Hey, Squall. Did you hear me?"

Looking up sharply, I notice the cabin already in sight and Seifer smirking at me as he walks backwards.

"It's a wonder you don't get yourself permanently lost in that head of yours. Anyway, I was asking if you didn't mind us surviving on the food we brought one more night. I'm too tired to feel like hunting and cleaning some game for dinner, and you look in about the same state as myself."

"That's fine," I say while resisting a laugh, knowing that the food we brought is still better than anything we would get at the cafeteria. I'd hardly call it 'surviving' on this food, but I'm certainly not going to boost Seifer's ego even further by complementing him.

"Great. So I was thinking that we'd go to the river to clean off, eat to our fill, and then just laze about until we can't stay awake anymore. Sound good?"

I look into the bright green eyes and clearly see that he'd rather more, but he's staying true to his promise to not push anything on me. I nod to his suggestions, the idea of getting travel dirt off of my body a very appealing one.

As we gather clean clothes before he leads us to a nearby river, I try to figure out how the hell I got myself into this mess. I wish I could blame chocolate, a weakness of mine that I had never realized before. I remember being fed a portion of warm and moist brownie, the dessert completely destroying my logical thought process when Seifer had asked for perhaps the twentieth time if I would spend my vacation time with him. Really, it must have been the chocolate that had made me say 'yes', especially when I know what this trip is all about - Seifer trying to make me want him. It's pathetic, really, the blond needing to prove his status as a lover who leaves his conquests begging for more. Considering that he has hurt me plenty in the training center, I can't believe his excuse about being upset that I had been injured. And that leaves the obvious reason of him trying to mend a wounded pride.

After a short walk from the cabin, I pause at the sight of the crystal clear river, a wider section of the stream flowing out into an appealing pond-like area. Without hesitation, Seifer drops his clean clothes onto a flat boulder and strips off the filthy and torn clothes I recognize well from previous sparring matches. I shouldn't be bothered by this, us showering plenty of times together in the past. But that was before, and since that night two weeks ago, I have avoided situations with the blond being naked. Trying to prove to either Seifer or myself that one meaningless night shouldn't change what we have between us, I place my fresh clothes more carefully next to Seifer's and remove my clothes with less haste. The blond smiles, though it seems something closer to relief than amusement.

For the small amount of worry it caused me, nothing happened at the river further than Seifer swearing at the coldness of the water and mocking me for showing no discomfort at the temperature. It was actually rather nice, water in nature never failing to soothe me for some reason. Cleaned and eventually fed, I found myself that night sitting on an old, but still soft fur rug in front of the fire place. The couch was there, but Seifer had been sitting on it earlier, and I found myself with the desire to stretch out more than the couch would allow with two of us sitting there.

"Here," Seifer says, a mug of hot chocolate abruptly blocking my view of the fire.

Taking the hot cup in two hands, I thank him quietly.

He doesn't sit down, instead sipping from his cup before speaking. "So, am I that frightening to you?"

Closing my eyes, I force myself to not respond to the taunt. I'm not afraid of Seifer, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be careful around him.

He sighs. "Why did you come, Squall?"

I shrug, still not too certain myself.

"You're impossible at times, you know that?" With a low grunt, he sits behind me and I hear him set his mug on the wood floor. "Would you at least relax a little?"

I flinch at the sudden grip of strong hands at my shoulders, something Seifer must have felt but chose to ignore. Slowly, and with much determination on his part, I sink into the soothing motions of the massage. It's strange that hands which kill can also bring about so much pleasure, but I don't bother dwelling on such thoughts, especially with the subtle shift in the massage that changes it from platonic to seduction.

As thumbs press nicely at my lower back, Seifer leans forward to ask in a hushed voice, "May I go further?"

I don't respond immediately, allowing myself a little bit more enjoyment under his hands before speaking. "Why me?"

His hands don't even pause in surprise at the question, the blond probably expecting it to be asked at some point during this trip. "Well, if you want to know why I'm attracted to you, it's simply because you are gorgeous, very appealing to any eye. But I've come across plenty of attractive men before, so that doesn't explain everything." The massage moves forward to my side and hips. "I'm just comfortable with you, Squall. I know you won't tell anyone about this, and I know you would never hurt me when it wouldn't be called for. It's a matter of honor between us."

Surprise holding my tongue, I stare deeper into the fire. I hadn't thought about that angle, that of course we would hurt each other while sparring, but to injure me in bed would be something inexcusable to Seifer. But... but even if that were true, I can still only believe that this is a matter of pride for him.

"Let me make it up to you. I looked up some things and I messed up last time. I swear that it can be better for you, and it'll only be about your pleasure."

I find myself shaking my head, a knot building in my stomach at what I can't stop myself from saying. "I don't want it just about me."

There's a quiet pause before he scoffs. "So you're satisfied making everything about me, but Hyne forbid you're spoiled for a night."

"... ..."

"Well, sorry, Squally-boy, but I don't like working that way. Let's go."

He suddenly stands at those words, a hand under my upper arm lifting me up with him. With just enough force to lead me, but not with enough strength to make it impossible for me to escape his hold, he takes me into the bedroom and pushes me down onto the bed. Like the one time before, I try to retreat into my mind and ignore his hands enflaming my cooler skin as he efficiently strips me of clothing. He sits up once to remove his shirt and jeans, but leaves on the dark green boxers.

Noticing my gaze, he smirks. "I'm trying to resist some temptation."

Lying down to my side while leaning on an elbow, he places a large hand on my penis, the bold move a shock considering he was so hesitant to explore that area the last time. Seifer quickly takes advantage of my lowered defenses, his thumb stroking the sensitive tip while his fingers wrap tightly around the shaft. He doesn't give me the chance to collect myself as he tries different things, some failing to please, but most easily serving to coax the hardening of my penis. It doesn't take long before my eyes go wide as I realize that I'm too close to coming from the simple hand job. I try to inform Seifer of that fact, but he just smirks and leans down to force me into a deep kiss, his tongue wandering where it shouldn't be allowed. As he pumps harder with a tight fist around my erection and makes me whimper into the joining of lips, the tip of his tongue strokes the side of my tongue, the oddly pleasing sensation being one too many as orgasm crashes over me.

Panting hard in the effort to regain lost breath, I barely notice as Seifer sits up and licks his hand for some reason, but then I suddenly realize what should be on his hand. Eyes snapping wide, I grab his wrist and pull the hand away from his mouth.

Smirking at my move, he asks, "What, you want a taste?"

"Are you crazy. That's... _filthy_."

He laughs. "Of course it isn't. It came from your body. Though it's interesting how different it tastes from mine."

If possible, my eyes widen further.

"Oh, come on, Squall. You've heard of kisses where a lovely lady shares her prize after a blowjob, right?"

Hyne, people actually do that sort of thing? I'm starting to believe that my apathy towards sex is perhaps a better thing than I had ever realized.

* * *

 

[Seifer]

Staring into the blue-gray eyes that are wider than I haven't ever witnessed before, I'm suddenly struck by the true innocence of this beauty. I had assumed him to be a virgin simply due to his antisocial nature and unskilled kisses, but the meaning of that inexperience has finally hit home. He truly doesn't know the wonders of sex, and now he only understands the pain that can occur. Shit. Another point for Almasy stupidity.

Gently removing his hand from its loosened grip on my arm, I smile in a hopefully calming manner. "I just want to grab a couple things and then I'll be right back. Don't move."

I don't wait for the reply that probably wouldn't be coming anyway. Rolling off the bed, I take the few steps to reach my bag where a small towel and a hidden tube are easily removed from a side pocket. By the time I return to Squall's side, he has skillfully collected himself and proceeds to watch me with a neutral expression of disinterest. After quickly wiping my hand clean, I then use the towel to remove the splatter of cum from the lithe body, all the while resisting the urge to taste his essence one more time. Tossing the towel to a corner of the bed for later use, I take hold of the retrieved tube and unscrew the cap.

"Just lie back, relax, and try to trust me."

A familiar scowl forms, though he doesn't voice what bothered him about the comment. He lies back and stretches his body out beautifully before me, the sight causing a throb of aching desire in my cock. Wetting my middle finger with the lube, I move Squall's legs to give me easier access to his anus. Lightly I encircle the small opening with my finger, waiting until Squall relaxes enough for me to feel comfortable about invading that tight space once more. He inhales sharply at the intrusion, but doesn't retreat or look to be in real pain. As for myself, I'm rather intrigued by the different, firmer feel of the anal cavity. Stroking carefully, I'm soon greeted with a soft sigh from the brunet as he relaxes to the inner massage. Removing my finger, I quickly recoat it and my pointer finger with more of the lubrication. The fingers slip in rather easily, Squall whimpering slightly at the entrance. Enjoying the moment of trust, I kiss and suck lightly at his inner thighs while my fingers slowly work inward. When I finally come across mushy softness, I'm rewarded with a near kick to the groin when Squall physically reacts to the sudden spike of pleasure.

"Wha...?" is all he can manage at first.

"Did I hit a special spot?"

After staring at me suspiciously for a moment, he rests his head back once more with a quiet sound of agreement.

I enjoy myself from that point on, driving the most interesting noises from the typically stoic brunet. He tries his hardest to resist at first, then finally giving into the inevitable that his body was going to respond as it pleased to the right touches. With time, his erection is back at full strength, my own arousal getting rather uncomfortable as I can't help reacting to the body squirming at my caresses.

"Seifer," comes a sudden hiss and I look up into deep blue eyes. "Please... Not just me," he pants out.

"But tonight--"

"You want it. Do it."

To my shame, I don't seem to have the proper brain function to argue the point as I quickly remove my boxers. Placing a healthy dose of lube on my palm, I coat my erection with the cool substance before returning my focus to Squall and prevent him from rolling over onto his stomach.

I ask, "You're rather flexible, aren't you?"

Taking his silence as an affirmative, I slip my hands under his thighs and press them up towards his chest. With some awkwardness, I manage to get the right positioning behind him. After a word of warning, I gently push against his opening, my hardened cock slipping in much easier than the last time. Though I try to stay focused on controlling myself, I feel like I'm slowly being overcome by that sensation of nearly painful tightness. Looking down at the lion, I'm happy to see the lack of pain in his expression, it appearing something closer to deep concentration. Carefully I press in deeper, soon entirely sheathed within the smaller body. I had forgotten. The squeezing pressure, the amazing heat for one so cold, the realization of being deep inside a worthy opponent... I had forgotten the distracting pleasure it all caused.

"Hyne, Squall... Please tell me that this isn't hurting you."

He shakes his head and mumbles, "S'okay. Do whatever."

I try at first to keep my rhythm slow, but a small voice keeps echoing in the back of my mind that Squall can easily handle more, that he isn't weak like some women I've bedded in the past. Trusting my ability to read his expression for signs of pain, I increase the pace of the thrusts, needing more, needing to be deeper within the lithe body. At the first cry from the brunet, I pause in fear that I've pushed him too far, but Squall continues to rock slightly, barely heard whimpers slipping from pale lips. Comforted that the lion actually wants more of this, I decide to simply flow with the rhythm of sex, not bothering to watch the strength of my every thrust.

Pounding hard into the beauty, I don't even notice the approaching end until Squall clamps tight around me, my resulting orgasm drawing everything out of me. I half fall, half lean forward to rest my head against his chest, the fast throbbing of his heartbeats and loud intakes of air extremely satisfying to me. I lie there without the desire to move, the sounds of Squall's gradually calming body serving to soothe my own overheated body. In time, however, the moment is ruined when he pushes a hand against my shoulder.

"Move already."

Smiling weakly at the annoyed, overly tired voice, I carefully remove myself from him before rolling over onto my side. The feel of wetness on my stomach makes my smile widen when I glance down and finger the splattering of cum. Perhaps with morbid fascination, Squall watches as I lick my finger clean.

"You're weird," he mumbles before closing his eyes, apparently ready for sleep.

I lie there in silence, simply watching the youth as he drifts into easy slumber. Usually I dread this part of the night, a time spent trying to figure out the best lines to use in the morning to make certain that my partner understands that I had only wanted the night of sex and that it had meant nothing more. But tonight is an odd reversal. While Squall has been probably counting on this being a final night, I'm not too certain that I want to let go of this just yet. It wasn't a lie when I said that I was comfortable him, and that fact adds a completely unexpected dimension to sex. While it's certainly not 'making love' or any of that crap, it's not simple fucking either and I certainly wouldn't mind doing it more often.

After a short time of viewing the sleeping lion, I reluctantly close my eyes and try to get some sleep. It'd be better to be at full energy in morning just in case hell freezes over and Squall decides to help cure me of the morning wood I'm bound to end up with when I wake.

* * *

 

[Squall]

"What the hell do you think you're doing out here?"

"Trying to sleep," I mumble, refusing to open my eyes.

"So I noticed, but the question is why. The bed must be far more comfortable than that piece of crap."

Hearing the large teen move directly in front of the couch, I reluctantly open my eyes and glance over at him, trying to relay the message that I'm not amused at being kept awake.

"Are you regretting this trip?" he asks with a self-assured smirk.

I don't reply, but guessing by his look, Seifer already knows how I feel about this vacation. Against better judgment, I've been having fun with the blond. Sparring outside in the forest has been a very nice change from the training center, and the fishing today was enjoyable mostly because Seifer couldn't catch anything larger than his pinky finger. But I know full well that the true focus of the question is directed at last night. While I could never admit it out loud, the sex was amazing. Because I was so focused on preparing myself for the expected pain, I wasn't able to protect myself against the spikes of pleasure that easily overwhelmed me. It's bothersome that Seifer was able to keep his promise - he showed me ecstasy, and now I have to live without.

Seifer chuckles lightly at me, then kneeling to be closer to eye level. "I don't remember getting a 'thank you' for last night."

I scoff. "We had your 'one more night'. What else do you want from me?"

Green eyes seem to brighten as he leans in. "Just what I always want from you - more," he says before kissing me.

"More of what?" I ask breathily after he breaks the joining of lips.

"More nights, a few mornings, maybe a couple afternoons," he states with a grin.

"You don't--"

"Forget what I usually do. I'm talking about you and me right now."

"And what exactly are you talking about."

He doesn't respond immediately, instead taking a moment to brush aside strands of hair from my eyes. "You hate my kisses, don't you?"

I frown, not certain where he is going with this.

He laughs. "Rather, you hate me shoving my tongue in your mouth. You also don't like it when I touch your balls, or talk dirty or any of the normal sex talk that I'm used to. And damn me to hell if I comment on your beauty."

"Your point being?"

"I also know about those special spots behind your ears and under your knees that drive you wild. I'm learning, Squally-boy. I'm learning about you and your body, about what you hate and love. In short, sex can only get better from now on."

Despite myself, I ask in an uncertain voice, "Better?"

"Mmm, much better. There's also plenty we haven't done yet and you really put me into a creative mood."

I sit up sharply, needing to escape those burning green eyes. It's not supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be a one time thing to make Seifer happy, maybe even to serve as an unintentional 'thank you' for helping me to become a better fighter than I would have been training on my own. But I never expected to find my own pleasure in all of this. I demanded Seifer to take me last night because I didn't want to owe him anything, and I certainly didn't want another night of him making me feel things that I'm not used to feeling. I thought having his dick ripping me apart once more would remind me that I didn't care about sex, but fucking Hyne, it didn't hurt. No, it was far from hurting last night. Maybe somewhat uncomfortable, but those pulses of pleasure easily made up for any pain I had felt. It was so unfair.

"Listen, I'm not talking about a relationship or anything. Just an occasional fuck whenever we feel like it. Maybe replace a couple of our sparring matches with a more relaxing, less damaging night of sex."

I don't look back at him, keeping my eyes forward.

He sighs at my lack of response. "All you have to do is say 'no' and I won't push you, but until I get something clear like that, I'm going to continue harassing until I trick you back into my bed."

It's quiet for a time as I try to sort through my thoughts, but all I can focus on is the echo of 'it can only get better from now on'. Something deep inside tells me that I'm going to regret this decision someday, but hopefully I can enjoy it for now.

I turn to face Seifer. "I only have to say 'no'."

He nods.

"There are no ties or responsibilities. Just the fuck."

Grinning, he nods a little more eagerly.

Unable to resist a small smile of my own, I ask, "And it'll get even better?"

His grin turning into something more lustful, Seifer places a hand at my neck. "Care for me to show you?"

I frown. "We're hiking back tomorrow."

"A shame, isn't it? Maybe we should ditch a day of classes."

"... ..."

"You know, one of these days I'll break those good habits of yours. Anyway, you do realize that we can do things without my dick touching your ass."

"Hn. I guess you'll have to show me."

He chuckles. "I'd be more than happy to."

~ > < ~

Cool water pouring over heated skin, I take a deep relaxing breath as I lean forward with my hands pressed against the tiled wall. Letting my eyes crack open, I stare down at a spot of dark red that mars my skin just above a cold hardened nipple. Thoughts of the night previous makes me smile vaguely as I hope to try that topping position on Seifer again. While I didn't care for the more exposed feeling it had caused, I enjoyed having a stronger sense of control over the blond.

Sighing, I close my eyes before directly placing my face into the stream of cold water and moving on with my shower as thoughts continue to flood my mind. It's hard to believe that it has already been five months since our first time, our meetings once or twice a week apparently unnoticed by other cadets in Garden. Even our roommates are preferring to ignore the obvious. It helps that Seifer and I are well known to fight at all hours of the days, and bruises are excellent at covering bite marks. I personally don't give a shit if anyone notices, but I'm rather certain Seifer prefers maintaining his playboy status, and frankly, our lives aren't anyone else's business.

Turning off the water flow, I wring out my hair before reaching for the towel I hung up on the neighboring showerhead. After quickly drying my body and rubbing the towel roughly against my hair, I then wrap the dark cloth around my waist. Before I can exit the shower area and head for the locker room, three older teens step through the entrance and block off the opening as they stop once spotting me.

"Well, hey, hey. It's the ice princess," says the one with short brown hair. I vaguely recognize him, as well as the other two with darker hair, but I have yet to bother learning their names.

"Whacha doing all by your lonesome?" asks the middle guy.

Not answering, I just stare at them with a fist at my hip.

"Man, look at those scars. You must really suck to get hit so often. Why don't you go slip on a dress and join the other pretties back in Balamb?"

The brown haired one laughs. "Then he can really suck, on dick, that is. Do your lovers like you in all that leather you wear?"

I resist a roll of the eyes, getting bored with waiting for them to wear out their repertoire. Some days I'm tempted to give them a script of new material to try out.

"Nah, they like him in a different set of leathers."

"Come on, pretty boy, you can tell us - do you always have something shoved up your ass or do you save the gerbils for special occasions?"

"Leave him alone, ass wipes."

At the deep voice, the three idiots turn sharply to look at the intruder, their defenses lowering at the sight of Seifer. Meanwhile, I glare at the blond as my body suddenly fills with hot anger at his appearance.

"Shit, Almasy. You scared me for a moment there," says the brown haired teen.

"You better be scared, Kenes. If you think I'm going to let you talk shit to--"

"Almasy," I hiss in a low voice as I step forward. Seifer looks up at the sound of his name, unintentionally positioning himself just perfectly for my right hook.

Knocked back a step, he places a hand to his eye. "Fucking _shit!_ What the hell--"

I continue forward and hit him solidly in the stomach, though it does little damage beyond forcing a grunt from the blond.

Quickly slipping into a fighting stance, Seifer growls low before throwing his own punch, knuckles grazing my cheek as I barely dodge the attack. The other cadets back away from the sudden fight, though they don't move too far as they cheer on Seifer. But they are easily forgotten as I sink into the fight, needing to focus on my defense to avoid Seifer's fists. I know too well that it'd take only one well placed punch to knock me out for the rest of the day. Relying on dodges and feints, I manage to plant a few more solid hits on the larger teen, but before things move much further, my towel slips from my waist, the moment of distraction enough to allow the blond a free strike. A brief sensation of flying is sharply interrupted by a surge of pain with my vision flashing to white before blackness overcomes me.

~ > < ~

Still feeling a bit dizzy, I take my time walking down the corridor towards Seifer's dorm room. Half of my day was wasted in the infirmary, and I imagine Dr Kadowaki is going to be hunting me down any moment once she notices that I've escaped from under her nose. Whatever. I'm sick of that place and my own bed will be much more comfortable, that is, after I have my talk with Seifer.

"LEONHART."

I look up from my focus the carpet to notice the duo who follow Seifer nearly everywhere. Fujin and Raijin, I think it was. I've never really met them myself, but Seifer has told me plenty about them. Talk about a strange group of friends, though I really don't have the right to say anything given my loner status.

While the rather butch looking girl only glares at me with her single redden eye, the much larger male moves to block part of the hallway. "Whacha doing down this way, Leonhart?"

Narrowing my eyes, I tell them, "It's none of your business."

"If it's gotta do with Seifer, then it's our business, ya know. We won't let ya hurt him."

I resist a laugh. "He doesn't need your protection."

"You punched him a good one, ya know." Black eyes scan over me. "Strong fer a small guy, aren't ya?"

Folding arms across my chest, I glare at him. "What do you want?"

"Actually, me and Fu here have been meanin' to talk with ya. We don't want you hurtin' Seifer, ya know."

I raise an eyebrow at that.

In an almost shy fashion, the large guy scratches the back of his head. "Well, not when yer supposed ta be hurtin' each other but, um, ya know what I mean. He was really upset with you earlier."

I shrug, then move forward to walk around them both. The large guy looks about to stop me, but the young woman stops him with a simple signal of her hand. Cute how much they worry about their apparent leader, but it doesn't mean much to me. The two 'posse' members quickly fading to the back of my mind, I focus on the doorway to Seifer's room and briefly think about what I should bother telling him. It takes a couple strings of knocks before the door is answered, one of Seifer's roommates looking at me with some surprise.

"What are you doing here?"

"To see Almasy."

He bites his lower lip and mumbles a 'I don't know' that is quickly interrupted by a deep voice calling from further inside. "Let him in, already. It was just a few bruises, for Hyne's sake."

Muttering something along the lines of "you were the one ranting earlier," the darkly skin roommate waves me inside.

Used to the dorm room by now, I walk directly into Seifer's bedroom and press the button for the door to slide shut, but I don't bother to lock it. I shouldn't be here long enough that it'd matter. The blond hasn't bothered to get out of his bed yet, his eyes closed as he lies on his back. Though his clothes have changed from earlier this afternoon, nothing seems out of the norm for the teen, his bruises probably quickly healed by a simple potion.

"What are you doing here, Leonhart?"

Not moving from the doorway, I ask, "Do you think I'm weak?"

Green eyes snap open as he sits up to glare at me. "Like hell I do. What gave you that idea?"

I ignore him. "Do you think you own me?"

His eyes narrow further. "Of course not."

"It's one or the other, because you obviously felt like you needed to protect me today."

"It wasn't--"

"It _was_ like that. And Seifer, for future reference, I don't need you or your help."

I don't wait for a response, pounding my fist on the button that opens the door. For whatever reason, Seifer lets me go without a word to defend himself. Fine by me. Suddenly feeling exhausted, I walk out of the dorm room to head for the lower level where my dorm room is waiting. Rather surprising that I want to go to bed after sleeping most of the afternoon away, but I'm never one to fight against the need for peaceful rest.

* * *

 

[Seifer]

After the second try at knocking, I surrender and punch in the code to deactivate the lock on the dorm suite. Walking straight to Squall's room, I don't bother to knock before using an override code I figured out which disables locks on all bedroom doors for emergency type situations. After I flip on the lights to the room, a touch of nervousness flows through me at the sight of the brunet sound asleep on his bed. Remembering to first close the door and relock it, I hurry over to the bedside and proceed to shake the hell out of Squall.

His eyes are slow to open, something that scares me given his typically alert state once anything invades his space and wakes him. Eventually the stormy eyes focus on me, a frown quickly forming.

I shove him back onto the mattress. "You idiot! Don't fall asleep when you could be suffering from a concussion."

"I'm fine."

"Phft, and you know that I'm the last to believe those words from your mouth. Dr K sunk to the level of asking me to check in on you. Why the hell did you leave the infirmary in the first place?"

He sits up with a sigh. "If you're done lecturing me, you can leave now."

"No, I'm not done with you yet." Running a hand through my hair, I take a moment to cool my temper and collect my thoughts. "I fucked up this morning."

His eyes widen slightly at the admission, but he says nothing.

"But seeing those asses talking to you like that... I know you aren't weak, Squall. Trust me, I have the scars in proof of that. And I wasn't defending you because I thought they were insulting something that was mine, or whatever you meant by wanting to know if I thought I owned you. Just hearing that shit pissed me off."

"Why? You've said worse in the past."

I smirk at his sleepy annoyance. "I've earned the right to harass you. Those idiots were spineless pricks."

Squall stares at me incredulously for a moment before covering his face with a hand. "Arrogant bastard."

"That's old news. So back to you. Why did you leave the infirmary?"

He shrugs. "Hate the place."

Smiling, I look down at the brunet and enjoy the sleep rumpled appearance he pulls off so well. A shame I don't get to see it very often with the guy always waking at insane hours in the morning. Only a few times I've managed to thoroughly tire out the lion during the night, making him savor some mornings of sleeping in. But that takes quite the bit of effort on my part. At least I had managed to convince him into taking the top position on me last night, Squall enjoying it more than he'd ever tell me out loud. Well, aside from the occasional moans. Unfortunately, he's getting better at controlling those whimpers and cries.

"If you're waiting for an invite, Seifer, don't."

Blinking, I realize that I must have been staring for a long time if I've made the stoic lion speak out. "Actually, I am thinking about hanging around. Dr K said something about not letting you sleep for another few hours."

"I'm not in the mood," he says, the voice clear in the message that no matter what I could do, he won't get excited by it. One of these days, I'll have to figure out how he manages to control his body so completely when he truly doesn't want to have anything to with sex.

"You had the back of your head bashed against a hot water tap this morning and you think I want to fuck you? Come on. I'm not that bad."

He looks at me with disbelief.

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. Can't we just, well, talk or do something that wouldn't end up with one or both us bleeding or well-fucked?"

He scoffs.

"Fine, how about I talk and you listen to stay awake."

"... I'm not getting rid of you, am I?"

"Not for the next few hours, no."

Shaking his head in defeat, Squall moves over on his bed, making room for me to sit down. Tossing my trench coat onto the chair next to his desk and toeing off my loosely laced boots, I plop down onto the offered section of mattress space.

"So, how goes it?" I ask with a grin, earning a scowl in response.

It takes a while to get into a decent conversation, myself not used to really speaking with the brunet. It's been a long time since our days at the orphanage, and even then he never talked much. It's odd, but I didn't even remember sharing a past with Squall before Garden. It wasn't until recently when we had spent some on the beach that vague memories returned to me of the dark-haired boy who rarely spoke. Memories have built up from there, of the orphanage, of Matron, of the ocean. Hell, even memories of Chickenwuss have come back to me, as well as my urge to call the young blond by such a stupid name.

Squall doesn't remember. He only remembers a little bit about living near an ocean, but nothing more. For whatever reason, I haven't tried to remind him of our past. Perhaps I'm worried that he'll get mad at me for leaving him after a child's promise to never desert him. Or maybe I'm afraid that he isn't _the_ Squall that I remember, but really, how many brown haired, stormy eyed boys named 'Squall' could there be?

Playing with the toes of one of the feet resting in my lap, I ask him, "What do you plan to do once you make SeeD?"

"Whatever is fine."

"Come on, you must have some kind of dreams or goals to serve as your motivation."

Watching me toy with a toe, he says, "I just want to stay alive."

"Nothing more?"

"What else would I want?"

"I don't know. Money, fame, power..." I grin while taking his foot into my hands and begin to massage it. "Personally, I'm determined to make the Almasy name known worldwide. I'll become the strongest fighter there is, and damn those who dare to challenge me."

"Why?"

"Because that's the ultimate immortality. I'm not satisfied living the normal life, to live and be forgotten. I want more than that."

Sighing, Squall closes his eyes. "You should learn to be satisfied with less."

"What, find me a little wife and settle down in a small house before having kids and puppies and other mundane family things? I'm bored just thinking about it." When he doesn't say anything to that, I ask him, "Are you already thinking about a painfully normal family life?"

He scoffs. "No. Not my thing."

"A-aw, I bet you'd be a great daddy. I can see you now, cooing over your baby and asking him to say 'dada'. Though you better let your wifey handle heating the formula. Don't want you burning the entire house down before your kids could have fun tearing it apart."

Reopening his eyes, he scowls at me. "Isn't it time for you to leave yet?"

Glancing at the clock, I'm surprised to see that it has already been over five hours since I invaded Squall's room. "Shit, I can't believe it's almost one. Well, mind if I just spend the rest of the night here?"

"Yes, I mind." Leaning over, he flips off the lights. "But you can stay anyway."

~ > < ~

In more than the literal sense of the word, I wake up one morning. It's earlier than I'm used to waking up, and later than typical for Squall, and so I find myself still wrapped around the smaller, leaner body of the sleeping youth with our legs intertwined. I don't know what is different about this particular morning as compared to numerous others, but unwanted realizations crash over me.

Four months. For nearly four months, it has only been Squall in my bed, and the frightening thing is how wrong it feels to even think of having someone else in his place.

Not moving in fear of waking the peaceful brunet, I try to calm suddenly rushed breaths. I'm not gay. I can't be gay. This... _thing_ with Squall is just for enjoyment, just a different type of sparring. Sure, I never really expected us to last... shit, has it really been almost a year? While this is still just supposed to be about the fuck, I think it has become something more despite that. Fuck buddies don't spend hours walking along the coast, or share specially made desserts, or enjoy a rare morning of lying in bed together. And, crap, he's currently wearing my sweatshirt as if it were the most normal thing in the world to use my clothing when he gets too cold. The sad thing is that it _is_ a normal thing. I swear, there must be ice cubes floating within his blood.

Given all of that, what does it mean? I know that other men don't interest me in the least. I've tried scoping out other potential bedmates for a comparison to Squall, but no one else has even cause a spark of interest let alone the obsessive fire my lion has ignited within me. But what if I've also lost my interest in finding other women to satisfy my needs... No, that can't be possible. I, Seifer Almasy, cannot be gay.

There's a quiet moan and a flutter of thick lashes before Squall opens his eyes to look confusingly at my bare chest. Gradually he moves his gaze to look up at me, pale lips just barely curling into something that I doubt anyone else could recognize as a smile.

"Morning."

Lost in the hazy pools of deep blue flecked with gray, I smile. "Good morn. I take it I exhausted you last night?"

He huffs before moving out of my hold to sit up and stretch. He then stands up from bed, giving me an oddly delicious sight of him clad in only the sweatshirt too large for him. I'm reaching out for him before I think about it, but Squall dodges my attempt to drag him back into his bed.

"I've got class," he states before leaving the room with a towel and robe in hand.

When I find myself staring mournfully at the door he had left through, I shake my head before lying back fully on the bed and covering my closed eyes with a hand. It then takes some effort before I can drive away the too clear images of last night and other favorite visions of Squall. Though I have to wonder if I could ever in real life trick the lovely into a dress or skirt and see if he'd look anything like I have imagined, or maybe even better. And handcuffs. We need to get a set of handcuffs. I've also heard that large beads can be used in interesting ways...

... Hyne help me, I need to find a woman.


	3. Chapter 3

_Small feet waded through the growth of wild flowers and weeds while green eyes scanned the field in search of a familiar form. In time the blond boy set his eyes on another child sitting in a tight ball under a gathering of thin trees, the small boy almost unnoticed in the spotty shade. Hesitating only slightly, the fair haired youth continued forward to the brunet, his footsteps purposefully loud to announce his presence to the other boy._

_"You weren't at our spot," he said to the seated brunet._

_The boy didn't glance up at the words, and instead tightened his hold around bent legs as he shifted away from the blond._

_"Come on, you still mad at me? It's not my fault I'm older than you..."_

_"... ..."_

_"Look at me, Squall."_

_"... ..."_

_Squatting next to the boy, the blond tried to steal a glance at the face pressed against the raised legs. "Please? I don't wanna leave with you mad at me."_

_"You promised," came a muffled voice filled with hurt and accusation._

_"It's not like I_ wanna _go. Matron says I haveta. And you always tell me to do what Matron says."_

_The brunet looked up sharply, his blue-gray eyes moist but no tears flowed. "Not this."_

_"Sorry. I tried..." Sighing, the larger boy sat heavily next to the boy and wrapped his arms around him. "Matron says when yer old enough, you get to come, too. Then we never haveta be apart."_

_Sniffling, the small boy leaned into the hug._

_"You'll see. Everything will be good." After a short time of sitting in silence, the blond then said, "Um, I kinda have to go. I tried to find you earlier, but you weren't in the normal spots..."_

_Abruptly, the large boy was shoved aside with enough force to land him on his back. He looked up with wide green eyes at the brunet straddled over him, the boy's lower lip trapped between his teeth in an uncertain expression. Before the blond could ask anything, the smaller boy quickly leaned down to kiss the slightly parted lips. The kiss didn't last long, the brunet then up and running in a direction away from the orphanage._

_Dazed, the blond continued to lie on his back for some time before slowly getting to his feet. He walked at a lagging pace to the small building that had been his home for years, but no longer. Alone in the flower field, no one witnessed him angrily wiping away his tears._

* * *

 

[Seifer]

With the smell of hotdogs and other mystery meats ripe in the air, I enter the cafeteria feeling rather good with myself. There's nothing quite like leaving Garden for a day or two to escape the nonsense of classes and teachers. It rarely fails to lift my mood. Sneering at the idiot card players wasting their time on a simple game, I make my way to the back table where Raijin and Fu are in plain sight. Dropping into an empty seat, I turn to greet my friends, but I'm instantly met with the unusual event of both DC members scowling at me.

"Well, nice to see you, too," I growl out.

"Rage," Fujin growls in an oddly low tone.

Raijin's expression falters slightly. "Come on, Fu. We gotta give Seifer a chance to explain, ya know."

"Explain what?" I ask, not entirely happy with the idea that I should have to explain anything to my friends.

"Fer blowing off Leonhart last night. He hung around yer place for hours."

"Why was he... Whoa, wait a fucking minute here. What do you two have with Leonhart?"

"FRIEND."

I stare at the duo, not quite believing my ears. "You... you both are now suddenly _friends_ with Shiva's Lover?"

Raijin scratches the back of his head. "Yeah. Since you told us to play nice, we found out he's a decent guy, ya know. And with you gone all the time, we've hung out a bit."

"I haven't been gone so much that you've needed to rely on Leonhart." Truthfully, I haven't a clue why I'm feeling jealous all of the sudden. Fuck, I can't even tell what I'm jealous about, whether because Squall took my friends, or because my posse has gotten close to the ice princess when Squall doesn't allow anyone close. Well, aside from me, of course.

"Actually, you've been missing 'bout half the week fer the past couple of months. It gets kinda boring without you, ya know."

I frown at the words, not realizing that I've been spending that much time in Timber with my latest conquest. "Sure you aren't exaggerating about that?"

The big guy shakes his head.

"Shit. Well, I'll make it up to you both." Leaning back in my chair, I ask, "And what was that about Leonhart waiting for me last night?"

Fujin scowls further at me. "YOU ASKED."

"Me? I didn't tell him... Ah, _fuck_. What's today's date?"

"Um, twenty-fourth, I think. Fu?"

She nods, her one eye still focused on me with clear accusation.

Muttering a mantra of 'shit shit shit' under my breath, I quickly stand up from my chair and rush for the exit of the cafeteria. After making a quick stop at my room, I decide to first look for Squall in his room before heading all the way to the training center where I figure he should be by this time of the day. But surprisingly the dorm door opens at my knock, the brunet beauty staring at me with an unreadable expression.

"Hey, there. I hear you were looking for me last night."

Squall doesn't react in the least to the comment, him simply turning around and walking away as his vague invitation to come inside. I follow him through the common area and into his own room, myself hitting the button to close the door behind us for some privacy. Noticing the rumpled sheets of his bed, I frown slightly at the sign that Squall has been spending his free afternoon lying down, which also means that he has been doing some serious thinking.

"Let's end this."

I look up sharply from the bed at Squall's words, but he keeps his back to me. "What?"

"You're obviously happy with someone else, so there's no need for us."

"Ah, come on. We don't have end everything just because I missed your birthday. At least give me the chance to explain?"

He turns around, confusion plain on his face. "My birthday?"

I resist the urge to laugh. "Yeah, genius. It was your birthday yesterday. Don't tell me that _you_ didn't even remember what day it was."

He shrugs. "No reason to care about it."

"Well, if you aren't upset about that, then what's all this talk about ending our fling?"

There's a pause before he speaks. "Last night was the fourth time in six weeks that you've forgotten about meeting with me."

Blinking, I can only stare at him. Have I really left him hanging four times?

"I don't care who you fuck, but I'm not some toy that you can keep in your room for whenever you want me."

"It's not like that--"

The pure ice of his gaze quiets me. "Isn't it?"

"No..."

When I can't find the right words to assure Squall about our situation and that he means far more to me than as some boy toy, the brunet turns to retrieve a notebook from his desk and then walks past me for the closed door. I try to grab a hold of his arm, but he easily dodges the move.

"You aren't leaving this here, Leonhart."

After opening the door, he says, "I promised to meet with Fujin for a study session."

With that implied message that he always keeps his promises, Squall leaves me without a single glance back.

* * *

 

[Squall]

Opening the door to my room, I'm not too surprised to find my lights still on and my bed occupied by the seated blond. It was a vague hope that Seifer wouldn't want to stick around to continue our talk, but I should know better when it comes to the man's stubbornness. I close the door behind me and walk over to the desk to set down my notebook. Well, at least I got something worthwhile done tonight. It was a mild shock to learn that Fujin can talk properly when she feels like it, but her request for help in the single course we share was more of a surprise. Though I have to admit that tutoring her has also helped me get a better feel for the subject.

"Come here."

I don't move at the low voice, nor do I have the desire to point out the obvious that I don't like him ordering me around.

"Fine, stay over there. I don't give a shit, but you're still going to hear me out." He sighs, his frustration clear. "Lately, I've been with this girl in Timber. It started off with a simple date, but then she found out I'm training for SeeD, so she asked me to teach her how to fight and some other stuff..."

"Are you sleeping with her?" I ask, not too certain why I should care in the first place.

"Yeah. Second virgin I've ever had."

"... And?"

"And..." He sighs again. "I don't want to be gay."

Not expecting such a statement, I turn around with the assumption that Seifer must be teasing me in some way, but his expression is completely serious, perhaps even a bit pained as he avoids direct eye contact.

"You don't want to be gay," I repeat incredulously.

"It's just that we've been together for over a year, and for awhile there it was only you, so that means I enjoy men more than women, but that shouldn't be possible 'cause, well, I'm me, and I can't be gay." He takes a deep breath to continue with the almost frantic rambling. "But even though I have this girl all hot for me in Timber, I can only think of you, so I've stayed away. But now you want to end everything... Shit, I'm such an idiot."

"Yes, but that's nothing new." I walk up to the bed and sit next to him. "What's wrong with being gay?"

He stiffens at the question. "Nothing... when it's someone else," he adds with a mutter.

I can't resist a smile. "What's wrong? Afraid that you suddenly become weaker? That you have to develop a lisp? Or maybe that you'll get fucked for once?"

He looks over sharply at me, his eyes bright with both anger at being insulted and something else closer to true fear.

"It's just a term, Seifer. Anyway, you would technically be bisexual. I'm the gay one."

"No, you aren't--"

I shake my head. "If we're naming things, I'm gay. I've only been with you."

"And it doesn't bother you?"

"Why should it?"

He smirks weakly. "You're an apathetic freak. Does nothing bother you?"

"Broken promises," I say softly before I think to stop myself.

Green eyes widen before Seifer frowns. "There's been a lot of that between us, hasn't there?"

I shrug, suddenly uncomfortable with the situation.

He reaches out a hand, cupping my cheek before leaning in close. "No more."

I knock away his hand as I glare at him. "Don't make impossible promises."

Undaunted, Seifer closes the space between us to steal his kiss. I know there was a time when I hated his kisses, how it typically starts off awkwardly with some body part getting in the way, and then it continues to that horrid wet point when he pointlessly slips his tongue into my mouth. Well, that's what I used to think. Then Seifer began to trick me by placing chocolate in his mouth, coaxing me to be more adventurous. I swear that to this day, I can still taste the bitter sweetness in his mouth whenever we kiss.

The joining breaks, but Seifer doesn't pull away. "Fuck it to hell, I think I love you."

I lean back to better see his face, but the open expression does nothing to assure me that he is joking. "No, you don't."

He grins. "I have to face it - I love a man."

"No. You don't."

"Just who are you trying to convince here, Squally-boy?"

I continue to stare at him, not understanding where this suddenly coming from. He doesn't want to admit that he has a gay side, but he can easily say that he loves me? Why does he always have to make things so confusing and difficult.

"Hey, I'm not expecting you to say anything back. It's just something I realized and I had to say it out loud. You know, make it real."

"... ..."

He laughs. "And no one will mistake you for a romantic, Leonhart. Hyne, you're hopeless."

Frowning, I try to figure out what romance has to do with anything between us.

"Oh, and before I forget..." He leans back to reach into his pocket and pulls something out, the small metallic object then placed in my hand. "Happy birthday."

I look at the pendant and short chain with some confusion. "Griever?"

"Yeah, it's for your gunblade. You know, to give a personal touch."

I smile softly. "Thanks."

"No prob. And if you want the other half of your gift, we can do that, too," he says while placing a firm hand at my hip.

My smile widens slightly. "I thought I was ending this."

"Yes, but that was before I said I was sorry and that it's only you from now on. The women of the world will just have to mourn their loss."

I stare at him for several moments to judge his sincerity and find the blond serious in his pledge to me. "Stupid, arrogant bastard," I whisper harshly before silencing any more ridiculous words from the man.

* * *

 

[Seifer]

"Fucking Hyne, can this week get any worse?" I grumble while collapsing onto the single bed in the dimly lit room. Normally I'd resist such pathetic bitching, but it truly has been a crappy week and it's only Squall with me, so there's no need to maintain any masks.

As expected, Squall doesn't even attempt to console me, the dark-haired youth instead busy with picking up my droppings of shoes, travel bag, and trench coat. I have to bite my tongue to hold back the comment that he'd make someone a lovely wife in the future. I really don't need a black eye in addition to the rest of the shit I've gotten this week.

Having no other sources of entertainment, I just lie back and watch my lion move around the hotel room as he places some things in the closet and others in the bathroom. For perhaps the first time today, I manage a small smile while focused on Squall. Despite what I would have believed, it's not that hard to stay loyal to one person. Hell, I did it unintentionally for months earlier in the year. But I have to assume that I could only do this for Squall. He doesn't cling, demand for 'quality time', get jealous or suspicious at the drop of the hat, or any of that other crap that tends to happen within a relationship. With Squall, I'm allowed to breathe. He doesn't even mind that I'm still helping Rinoa with her so-called resistance group. What can I say, I'm not immune to the puppy brown eyes on that girl. That, and I made a promise.

"You look bored."

My smile widens at the sight of Squall finally approaching the bed. "Nah, just sulking."

He sits on the edge of the mattress to look down at me. "You're that upset about the cabin?"

I sigh at the mention of the cabin, now lost from a forest fire that had apparently taken place only a month back. "It's not really the cabin. I just really loved having a place to run to when I can't stand Garden, and that was always the perfect place to hide away for a week or so."

Squall hums his understanding, though he can't completely understand the trapped feeling I get at Garden. While he can handle following orders no matter the stupidity, I can't help but to think that my way would be better. And plenty of times I have been right, but because I've stepped out of line, my role in finishing missions successfully has been completely looked over, while at the same moment, I've been punished for insubordination. What-fucking-ever.

"And you have to admit, finding that place was practically a miracle. I'm not going have luck like that again."

Oddly, Squall shakes his head. "You've always had strikes of amazing luck."

I scoff. "Yeah, except when it comes to SeeD exams. I can't believe I blew it a second time."

He cocks his head in the silent question of 'how did you screw it up this time?'.

"It wasn't my fault I got an idiot as a squad leader," I mutter before explaining. "The ass wanted to go straight through this large group of soldiers while I saw a better place to go around them. He didn't trust me, so I went by myself. I got the leader's head before the rest of the squad could get past the front gates. But because I didn't follow fucking orders and because cadets weren't technically supposed to go into the enemy base, I didn't get promoted."

"You have too much pride."

I glare up at the brunet. "It wasn't about pride. My way _was_ best. Simple as that."

"You won't become a SeeD unless you control yourself."

"Then I won't become a SeeD," I huff. "I'm not going to pretend someone is right when things could be done better."

"Your choice."

Sighing, I reach up to place a hand behind Squall's head and rake my fingers within the thick locks. "You know what else pisses me off about losing the cabin?"

"You lost another place to fuck me?"

A laugh escapes me at hearing the words said in such a dry tone. "Close, but not quite. I like to think that our first time was there."

Stormy eyes widen slightly before subtle humor returns to his gaze. "Afraid to remember your lack of skill before that?"

"What can I say - you look so much like a girl that I thought it'd be the same as the other girls I've fucked."

Squall only scoffs, and then leans back into my hand as I rub his neck.

"So, enough foreplay?"

He looks at me through heavy lidded eyes, the brunet always a sucker for a firm massage.

I grin at the vaguely annoyed expression. "Come on, with as much as you talk, this should count as a special moment with us having a conversation."

"I talk with you."

"Hn, that's true enough, but it just makes you seem even quieter when you don't say a damn thing when other people are around."

He shrugs.

"Back to more important matters - comfort me."

Smiling his small, amused smile, Squall pulls my hand away from his neck and leans in closer to me. "Would you like me to suck you off?"

I blink, and then blink once again before I can process those words spoken in his soft voice. Not trusting my hearing, I ask smoothly, "Wh-what?"

He frowns. "That is how you say it, right?"

"If you're talking about your mouth on my dick..."

The pout disappears as Squall nods.

"Holy Hyne," I mutter. So that's what an instant erection feels like.

Taking my stunned state as a sign of consent, the brunet beauty moves lower on the bed to undo my belt and pants, removing them and my boxers without hesitation. It's not until he spreads my legs that I wake up from my shock and reach up to stop Squall.

"You don't have to. I know it grosses you out. And I haven't even showered after all that hiking today."

He shakes his head. "I want to, so lie back down."

Smirking at his forcefulness, I move back a little to make better use of the pillows to prop me up. Squall stares at my clear and very needy erection like one would examine a puzzle before attempting to solve it, but after that brief hesitation, he easily takes the sensitive head into his mouth. I've had plenty of blow jobs in the past, but something about it being my obsessive compulsive lion placing his lips on my body makes the simple sensations many times more powerful. Clutching the sheets below me, I resist the need to hold onto Squall's head, myself too afraid to push him further than he'd be comfortable with.

For long, teasing moments, Squall focuses on that one area with his lips and teeth while one of his hand strokes lightly along my painfully hard shaft. If I were to come like that, I'd be certainly happy enough, but surprisingly he gradually takes in more of my cock, beautifully adding pressure with his tongue. Before I recognize my movement, I have a hand deeply entangled in dark hair as I coax him for more, but he easily ignores my forceful persuasion and continues at his own pace. He bobs slowly as he goes further, and when he amazingly deep throats me, I moan in ultimate pleasure. It's indescribable how it feels to see pale lips spread around my length while I can clearly feel my tip brushing against the back of his throat. And with him looking cross-eyed in such deep concentration... it's simply too much.

"Holy fucking shit... Pull back before I--" My breathy words are cut off when he lightly fingers behind my balls, a groan practically erupting from me. I try a few more times to warn him that I'm only human and that I know he hates cum, but every time I try to speak, he easily silences me. Granted, I don't mind being silenced by mind numbing pleasure, but I just hope to Hyne that he doesn't hate me for soiling his mouth.

With his name not too clear within my cry of final release, I do my best to not thrust hard in Squall's mouth. Lying back fully and taking deep breaths, I can't hold back a small whine when the brunet continues to suck lightly as he pulls back. But the passion of the moment quickly evaporates, then leaving me with an unsettling thought.

Glaring at him with half-lidded eyes, I say, "That wasn't your first time."

He glances to the side with an uncertain look. "Kind of."

"Who was it?" Still weak from pleasure, my voice doesn't reflect the hot anger I feel at someone else having my lion. Sure I was the only one to make the pledge to be faithful, and there's the issue that he hasn't even hinted about whether or not he could love me. But none of that matters, because fuck everyone else to hell, he's _mine_.

"... ...?"

"Who was it? Who the fuck were you practicing on?"

He scowls at me. "I haven't been with anyone else."

"Come on, Squall. No one deep throats their first time. Just tell me the bastard's name and I'll promise to kill him quick."

The uncertain look returns. "I haven't... with anyone. I read a little bit about it and they say to practice on... on a toy."

My entire body relaxes once I realize that there's no one else, but instantly my curiosity takes over. "A toy? And what toy are we talking about here?"

"A dildo," he mumbles.

Oh Hyne, if I hadn't just spent my load... "You're telling me that you've been using your spare time to suck on a plastic dick?"

"I didn't want to mess up."

Before he can think to resist, I quickly sit up to grab onto him and then force him to lie down next to me. Rolling over the slender form, I lean up onto my elbows and grin down at him. "My lovely perfectionist, this I have to see to believe. Where do you hide it? Do you touch yourself while practicing? Shit, why do we have to be all the way in Timber when you tell me this."

He frowns, but the look is weaken by the faint blushing of his cheeks. "Why does it matter? I was going to get rid of it after, well, if I could do it okay on you."

"Don't you dare get rid of it. I want my fun first," I say as I lean down to attack the sensitive point behind his ear. "And you were far better than 'okay'."

He hums pleased while arching up against my body.

While I proceed to give Squall my thanks for the blowjob, my mind quickly goes down the side path of all the things we could do with this dildo. Truthfully, I thought Squall would rather cut off my head before he'd ever touch a sex toy, but hearing this, so many new possibilities have opened up on the creativity level. I'm almost hurt to think about all the hours that have been wasted with Squall hiding behind closed doors as he practiced. Well fuck, he'll just have to make it up to me.

* * *

 

[Squall]

I step carefully along stony ground, not wanting to trip in the dark of night, or worse, scuff my new boots. At least the moonlight is bright enough to show the way, and Seifer's trench coat stands out enough such that I can locate him despite the late hour. He doesn't look back at my approach, only continues to stare out at the dark ocean. I walk up next to him and stand there without saying anything.

Eventually, Seifer is the one to break the silence. "You looked good in that SeeD uniform."

"So you were there."

"Yeah. Helped out that girl from Timber to meet with Cid."

"... ..." Right, the girl from Timber. The other virgin he had. I shouldn't be jealous, especially since Seifer chose me, but the idea that she still hangs onto him and touches him... I wonder if he has noticed how often I coax him into the shower directly after his meetings with this girl and her group.

"I also saw you making a mess of yourself on the dance floor."

I frown. "I've been dancing with you too much."

He laughs. "What, forgot how to lead for that first part?"

I'm tempted to point out that Seifer was the one who signed me up for the damn dance classes in which I typically had to be paired with him and other taller teens given the minority of women in the course. But I say nothing, figuring that the blond would only find pleasure in hearing that it's his fault.

A loud sigh sounds as Seifer drops onto his back. "I give up."

I stare down at him, mildly stunned to hear a surrender from the blond.

"It's a load of bullshit anyway, making me try again, and again, and _again_ for that promotion. I don't need to be a SeeD to make a name for myself in this world."

"You're quitting Garden?"

He pauses before answering, "I don't know. I don't like the idea of being a quitter. Maybe I'll just wait until they won't let me test anymore."

"... If it means anything, I thought you were right about leaving our post."

"Heh. Actually, it means a lot."

"I was tempted to not accept the SeeD position if you were looked over."

"And yet, a SeeD you have become."

I shrug. "I get my own room this way."

After a quiet second, Seifer laughs deeply. "I've corrupted you, Leonhart. Get down here," he says with a tug on my arm.

I follow the order, but only sit instead of lie down next to Seifer on the rock hard ground.

"Well, Mr. SeeD, since you're going to be getting that nice load of gil coming your way, how about we put it to good use?"

"I'm not buying that sex swing."

He chuckles. "You will, but actually I was thinking of something a bit bigger. There's this area on the far side of Balamb where some condos are going to be built. Right near the ocean. I was thinking about you and me..."

"Could have a place to run to?"

"Yeah, something like that."

I look down at him, clearly hearing that he wanted to say something else.

"So, you leave tomorrow, right?"

I nod.

"Squally-boy's first mission as a SeeD. If you want, I can tag along to keep you safe."

"I don't need you, Seifer."

"Hn, guess not." He sits up with an exaggerated groan, and then leans against me heavily. "Well, I'll be waiting here for you to come back. But if you happen to get your ass kicked, make certain that your final thought is about how much you love me."

"You're an idiot."

"So what does that make you for being with me?"

"A fool," I state without hesitation.

He laughs. "And that's why I love you."

I'm grateful when he says nothing more and we spend the rest of the night in silence. It annoys me that I can't manage the same words towards Seifer. In truth, I'm not too certain that I do love him. I'm happy with him, and he has continually held up on his promise to show me ecstasy, but I haven't a clue what that may have to do with love. Maybe I need to pull away from Seifer for a time, find someone else who truly wants me, and then compare how I feel about the two people. But the sad fact remains that I don't want to leave this arrogant blond. Maybe that should be proof enough for me. Sighing as I move closer to his warmth, I decide that I'll have enough time to figure this out later. There's the basic mission tomorrow, something that shouldn't take too long given we're inexperienced as SeeD soldiers and would never be given an important mission. After that, maybe Seifer and I should go to Balamb and look into more information about those condos.

* * *

 

[Epilogue]

A large, broad shouldered man walked casually towards the cliff's edge, his skin golden in the light of the setting sun. Instead of watching that colorful sight of the ending day, the man was clearly focused on a lone figure who sat against a whitewashed wall of the lighthouse. Smirking, the blond moved to invade the man's privacy, soon leaning back against the tall building to look down at the seated brunet.

"I figured you would be out here."

Brushing aside his thick brown locks, the leaner man smiled vaguely. "And not lower?"

The blond scoffed. "I scoped out the old spot yesterday, and man, I'm impressed that we didn't kill ourselves. That ledge is tiny."

"Or maybe you're too big."

"Maybe, but I've never heard a complaint from you."

The brunet didn't reply, only leaned forward while crossing his bare arms tightly around his chest.

"Idiot, why didn't you wear your coat? You know it gets cold once that sun goes down."

Glancing back, the shorter man replied, "You're here."

With a wide grin and a chuckle, the blond moved to sit on the sandy ground behind the other, his muscular arms then wrapped around the slender body. "So, from Sorceress' Knight to personal heater for the soon-to-be Headmaster of Esthar Garden. Yep, I'm moving up in the world."

"Don't forget head chef," the brunet muttered while shifting back into comfortable warmth.

"Hyne forbid I forget that."

There were no more words for a time, both sets of eyes looking ahead as the sunset slowly came to completion. Silence continued after that, the two men still staring at that point of disappearance while the ocean breeze flowed around them. That moment of peace, however, was brought to a quick end when the larger man abruptly sighed and dropped back onto his side, bringing the brunet down flat onto the sand with him. The blond moved to lean on his elbow and gaze down at the prone man, green eyes easily meeting the halfhearted scowl aimed in his direction. With deliberate care, a large hand was then placed on the toned stomach hidden beneath an old t-shirt.

"I don't deserve you or Isan," the man said in a low voice.

"If you think you're getting out of this now, 'daddy', forget it."

The blond smiled weakly. "I don't want out of it, but... Why the hell did you take me back?"

A shrug came as the only reply.

"Come on, Squall. I want a real answer for once. Maybe a few years ago I could handle you just wanting me around, but I need something more."

Frowning, the brunet looked up at the man. "Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's because we're back at the orphanage, or maybe it's from watching Selph carry around her latest demon, or probably something else stupid. Either way, I've been thinking about that day for most of the weekend. I still can't figure out why you'd let me back into your life so simply."

"I was pregnant, thus insane."

"While I'm tempted to believe that, let's try for a real answer."

With an exasperated sigh, the prone man said, "There is no real answer. I just needed you. Can't that be enough?"

Green eyes widened slightly. "Say that again."

There was a vague hesitation before the brunet said softly, "I need you, Seifer."

The blond's smile was almost shy as he leaned down to kiss pale lips. But the chaste kiss never had the chance to deepen when a double cry of 'mommy' and 'Seifer' rang out from the direction of the building far newer than the aged lighthouse. By the time the two men were able to regain their footing, a young boy ran up and firmly latched himself onto the leg of the shorter man.

"Mommy, Mommy. It's ice cream time."

While larger man laughed, the brunet bent down to pry the child away from his leg. "Isan, you know it's dinner first, then dessert."

The young boy frowned in thought. "Oh yeah. I forgot."

Shaking his head, the slender man stepped forward as his son then ran back to the raven haired woman he had left behind. The blond was quickly at the smaller man's side and wrapped an arm around the lean waist as they followed the boy's rushed lead away from the lighthouse. It wasn't until the lagging couple approached the backdoor of the orphanage that they both looked back at the cliff's edge for a brief time. Then glancing at each other, their eyes met with silent words of understanding before the two men turned their backs to the ocean and stepped inside to where their impatient son was waiting.

 

{Owari}


End file.
